Chapter 4: Salvador Dali's Alice

Cheshire: Salvador Dali's Alice?

Why is it nowadays that whenever somebody reinterprets Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland that they feel compelled to make it into something dark, disturbing and deeply troubling? From Tim Burton to American McGee, the modern vision of Alice is that of one sick, twisted little bitch! In Second Life, nothing is different. Here however, you can visit Cheshire, and live a little of it for yourself.

Is Alice...preggers???

Here we have a Wonderland envisioned by Salvador Dali rather than John Tenniel. Surrealistic landscapes and sculpts fill the sim. Cheshire's been around a long time and is currently boasting a new build. But whereas the old build was airy, huge and whimsical, the current build seems gloomy and claustrophic. Sculpted trees, mushrooms and other objects clutter up the sim, making a view of more than a few meters impossible. And in true, modern "Alice" interpretation, the place is more disturbing than fun. But if disturbing is your thing (and it should be), let's have a look around. Your journey begins in the welcome area where you will meet none other than Alice herself! But this Alice is not the cute little kid from the Disney cartoon. She's about 12 feet tall with a figure like a sack of doorknobs. Or could it be that perhaps our little Alice has been--gulp!--Knocked up?

Our miniscule avatar gets to go where Lewis Carroll never got!

Speaking of knocks, go back and knock at the little door in the welcome pad. It will take through a portal to Alice's Bedroom! When you arrive, you suddenly realize that you've somehow been reduced to about three inches tall! (And three inches is such a wretched height). You land on her bureau. Go have a look in her drawer...a giant syringe seems to tell us more about Alice than we'd care to know. Fly on around the room; you can look through Alice's closet and then go to the one place Lewis Carroll never got around to going (but lord knows he wanted to): Alice's bed! (Hmm...the arm straps seem a little interesting. What are the sim owners trying to tell us about poor little Alice?)

Drop down to the floor and you can have a ride on Alice's Train, 'round and 'round her room--forever if you wish. Might be a bit scary, though, once you realize that the guy driving the train is...Babar the elephant!!!

If you ever want out of Alice's giant room, you have to go out the way you came in. So it's back up to her bureau and back on down to Cheshire. I suppose any good "Alice" journey it's best to start with a trip down a rabbit hole, right? So let's travel NE until we see a large tree. The White Rabbit seems in an awful hurry to get inside, but we can actually beat him to it! Down, down we go--into JacqueMate, Cheshire's own "Alice" inspired jewelry shop. Nice stuff--but don't try out the poseballs in there, unless you want your avatar to wind up in some awfully embarrassing positions!

Out the rabbit hole and to the right, we may pay a visit on The Duchess. She isn't home, but we can have a look around anyway. Her portrait hangs above the fireplace. My gosh--she really was ugly! That pig she called a baby roots around the kitchen. But wait...what is that horrible scary whispering sound? We have a quick look around the back of the house to discover a cemetery. Don't try to get into that cemetery--the Card Guard will push you back out. But wait--something seems to be wrong with him. Could it be? Yes! Good lord--the Card Guard has become...a zombie!!! Heavens to Betsy--you don't suppose that Queen really did chop off his head for painting those roses red, and now he's one of the Undead?

Evil Zombie Cards!

An islet behind the house brings even worse horrors--here you will find a whole pack of Card Zombies! You will be given a gun to shoot them off, but it's really no use--they'll just keep coming! And who knew cards could bleed so much?

Twirl 'til you hurl on the Mad Hatter's Teacups Ride!

Traveling counter-clockwise from the Duchess, you may discover Just in the Nick of Time, a shop that sells highly unusual interactive objects. Then onto a small castle where you will find Desade Designs. Inside, you may ride the Mad Hatter's Teacups. As is the case with most SL "rides," it doesn't really work, but you may get dizzy looking at your avatar having all the fun.

Take that wicket and stick you, you flaky flamingos!!!

Exiting Desade Designs, you'll notice a bunch of flamingos having fits, a large mushroom patch and a huge table set out for a tea party. Beyond that is Catnip, where you may buy more Wonderland souvenirs. But you may want to think twice about, um, entering that shop. I mean--well, just look at the picture and think about it. Just think about it.

Just to the left of Catnip is the Tweedle Theatre. I have no idea what kinds of performances go on here, but one look at the backdrop is enough to give us nightmares for years. So let's move on. Brrr! Another castle is the home of Blue Blood, where you may purchase elegant Victorian and Steampunk gowns. And that's about all for Cheshire.

No, stupid--sit in the chair! You can't go through the mirror!

But wait--it turns out that Cheshire is conjoined with yet another "Alice" sim. Work your way to the Eastern section of the sim where you will find a little chair beneath a looking glass. Sit on the chair and poof! You're in Jabberwocky! (Hey, I thought Alice went through the mirror, not the chair, but whatever).

Once you reach the other side, you'll find yourself confronted with about a zillion more cards! But don't worry--these ones aren't zombies! (Yet). Just knock 'em all over like Alice did and continue down the path. You'll come to the end of a pier, where you will see the ginormous Jabberwocky Sculpted Prims shop. But you soon realize...there's no way in! Well, you can fly in, but a nice tp or even a stairway would be nice here, guy. If you manage to find your way into the shop, great, because there's not much else left to see on this whole sim. Hopefully they'll add more soon, but for now, it's time to wake up from our Alice nightmare. Honestly, what does that girl eat before going to sleep?

Wascally Wabbits wave buh-bye from Cheshire!

To be continued...