Chapter 3: Weird Shopping!

Curio: They turned Hogwart's into a shopping mall??

Another happy customer at Curio

Good lord! Well, we already know that they sold Paradise and put up a parking lot. But have they sold Hogwart's and turned it into a skin shop? That seems to be the case when you visit Curio, a women's skin and hair shop that's so big it takes up almost its whole sim! Spooky, Gothic architecture turns scaredy-cats away; but everyone else will enjoy the usual conservative styles within--nothing for sale in here is nearly as spooky as the build itself! Creepy secret rooms, a poisoned mushroom patch and hidden tunnels beneath the building seem to promise far more frights than we're in for.

Zac Efron isn't worried about imposters shopping at fratBoy

Men, of course, have a hell of a time finding a decent skin and shape. And you won't find either if you travel to Snafu and visit fratBoy. The area is apparently a gay/twink theme shopping experience. Shirtless cuties--looking too young even for Abercrombie--look down from the walls at you and try to inflame your carnal lust. Here, High School Musical wannabes may purchase a Zac Efron skin that looks more like a clay-faced noob than Zac Efron. Doesn't help that the owner chooses to display the "Zac" skin right next to a picture of the real Zac Efron--so you can compare...and decline. The area is nautically-themed, and features the most obnoxious bell sound, originating from a buoy (calling the buoys in for fun?) The bell sound is so annoying, it ensures that your shopping visit will be a short one.

Wal-Mart of the Weird?

On then, to Pheosia, where it's time to visit everyone's favorite store: Weirdiculous: the store that caters to any taste...or lack thereof! It all looks so innocent at first: the building looks like a Toys-R-Us, complete with giant Lego blocks out in front. But once you get inside, all good taste and breeding gets thrown to the wind! Now you know where all those goofy griefers buy their clothes!

Griefers go ga-ga over Weirdiculous's offerings

A second building serves as an age-verified shop. This time, you'll have to enter through a giant devil's mouth to get in. Hmm...didn't we just do that in Zindra the other day? Inside, all the tacky, tasteless avatars you've come to know and love in Second Life are yours to purchase!

The Gas Chamber: The shop that Taste forgot!

But wait--there's more! There are a few more buildings in the back. You'll have to go through a clown's mouth to get to them, so fear of that alone will probably mean that half of you will never discover The Gas Chamber, a silo-shaped building that features all the "fine offensive products" that you've come to expect.




And remember...if you're a cheapskate and don't buy anything at Weirdiculous, they will take you out back and their cow will grill you!

The ferryman takes you on a one-way journey...

Enough shopping for today! Let's find some good stuff. A quick tp to Dunnideer should land you in the hub of Wicked Land, which is something of an amusement park, filled with pulse-pounding, action-packed terror of the highest order. Gulp! Do we really wanna do this? The first thing you see is a huge gothic castle. This time, however, there will be no skins and hair to buy. There's nothing to buy here...but it seems, you will be asked to sell something. Your soul. Brrr! Shudder!!

"Come to me..." hisses Vampirella. Enjoy the end of your life!

Ascend the stairs and enter the castle. You will find a dock where you will be asked to wait for the ferryman. And here's where things get spooky! The ferryman appears but he looks like that hellish Charon that ferries the dead souls into Hades. Gulp! He won't ask you for a coin, but he'll take you on a boat rip through the sewers, finally landing in front of a small Victorian cottage. No birds sing here; an aura of menace permeates the air. Hesitantly, you walk up the stairs to the cottage; the doors swing open by themselves! You find yourself in a tiny drawing room and on the wall...a portrait of Vampirella herself. Its eyes glow! And you hear her voice in a loud whisper beckoning you to "COME HERE..." "COME TO ME..." Slowly, Vampirella materializes up through the floor. You discover that the doors no longer open! There's nowhere to run, now--nowhere to hide. Vampirella comes closer and closer until she bites you on the neck! A pit opens up in the floor--hellfire flames shoot up. You fall--down, down, down to earth...landing in an open grave with your avatar's name enscribed upon it! And that's the end of you! But all's not lost. You realize that somehow your existence continues. But in what form? You shudder and try to leave the cemetary. But wait--Vampirella appears again. She has a gift for you. Take it, but whatever you do--don't sit on her! You'll regret it!!!

These dragons mean business!

If you manage to make it out of the cemetery alive, you can continue on your tour of Wicked Land. A long corridor brings you back to the hub, and another long staircase brings you to the castle turrets. Turn to the left, and you'll see...GOLD! Lots of gold! Oh boy, don't you want some? But wait--there's a little problem. Mean ol' dragons guard the loot. You'll see a sword stuck in the ground; click on it, and you'll have a handy weapon with which to fight them off, complete with instructions. Defeat the dragons for a prize. Be careful--loose and they'll send you flying into the stratosphere, or trap you in a pit with a dead noob.

Oh shit--the witches have spotted you! You've had it now!

Back to the turrets, you may choose to venture to the right side this time. In another section of the castle, you'll find three witches, busily doing whatever it is that witches do when no one's looking. A sign warns you not to disturb them, but of course you do it anyway. And that's when all hell breaks loose! Don't say you weren't warned!!

After getting away from what the witches do to you (if you can get away), you may see Vampirella waving goodbye to you from atop a hill, innocently posing next to a child's sandbox. What is she doing up there anyway? It's best we never know. And it's time we left Wicked Land. It's just so...wicked!!!